This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about. When his mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found with child through the Holy Spirit.
Joseph her husband, since he was a righteous man, yet unwilling to expose her to shame, decided to divorce her quietly. Such was his intention when, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home. For it is through the Holy Spirit that this child has been conceived in her.She will bear a son and you are to name him Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”
All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel, which means “God is with us.”
When Joseph awoke, he did as the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took his wife into his home.
The Gospel this week essentially repeats that of last week’s Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception, but the focus is upon St. Joseph rather than Mary. It also requires a bit of knowledge about the Jewish marriage process.
Under Jewish tradition (i.e. the Talmud), marriage occurs in two distinct stages: kiddushin (what we refer to as betrothal) and nisuin (full-fledged marriage). Kiddushin occurs when the woman agrees to marry her prospective husband, which she does by accepting an offering of money, accepting a marriage proposal or having sexual relations with him. According to those more knowledgeable in these things than I, the word "kiddushin" is derived from the root word Qof-Dalet-Shin, which means "sanctified” and thus reflects the sanctity of the marital relation. However, the root word also connotes something that is set aside for a specific (sacred) purpose, and the ritual of kiddushin sets aside the woman to be the wife of a particular man and no other.
Kiddushin is much more than an merely an engagement as we understand the term in modern English; once kiddushin is complete, the woman is legally the wife of the man. The relationship created by kiddushin can only be dissolved by death or divorce. However, the spouses do not live together at the time of the kiddushin, and the mutual obligations created by the marital relationship do not take effect until the second part of the marriage process, nisuin, is complete.
The nisuin (derived from a word meaning "elevation") completes the process of marriage. The husband brings the wife into his home and they begin their married life together. While today the ceremonies of kidduishin and nisuin are usually performed together, in the past they would occur as much as a year apart. During that time, the husband would prepare a home for the new family. Of course, during this period of time there was always a chance that the woman would discover that she wanted to marry another man, or the man would disappear, leaving the woman in the awkward state of being married but without a husband.
This was the context, then, that Joseph found himself in when he realized Mary was pregnant. Having completed kiddushin, Mary was considered his betrothed and was legally his wife even though they did not yet reside together. She was pregnant and they had not had sexual relations. She had committed adultery, the punishment being death in accordance with Deuteronomy 22:23-24:
If within the city a man comes upon a maiden who is betrothed, and has relations with her, you shall bring them both out to the gate of the city and there stone them to death: the girl because she did not cry out for help though she was in the city, and the man because he violated his neighbor's wife. Thus shall you purge the evil from your midst.This is what created the dilemma for Joseph. If he did nothing, then he was concealing Mary’s sin and acting against the law of the Lord. But if he said something, and he was wrong about what had happened, her innocent blood would be upon him. Joseph decided to take the middle road and would divorce her quietly, without giving a reason. He then went to sleep and was visited by an angel who explained that Mary was telling the truth and was in God’s grace. Upon waking, Joseph gave glory to God and told Mary he believed her.
Scripture does not identify the angel who visited Joseph that night. We know that the Archangel Gabriel visited Zacharias to announce the pregnancy of Elizabeth (Luke 1:19) and visited Mary during the Annunciation (Luke 1:26), but Matthew is silent as to the name, other than “the Angel of the Lord.” As noted in the Catholic Encyclopedia, it is not unreasonable to suppose with Christian tradition that it was Gabriel who appeared to St. Joseph and to the shepherds. The non-canonical The History of Joseph the Carpenter has Jesus himself claiming it was the angel Gabriel.
Joseph is somewhat an enigmatic figure in the Gospels. Other than the infancy narrative, the only other time he is referenced is in the Finding of Jesus in the temple. The primary non-canonical work is the aforementioned History of Joseph the Carpenter.
The History of Joseph was purportedly written by James, the brother of Jesus, who recounts a presentation Jesus made on the Mount of Olives. Jesus explains that Joseph came from Bethlehem was a carpenter and a priest in the temple. He was single for 40 years, then he married and had four sons, Judas, Justus, James and Simon, and two daughters, Assia and Lydia. After 49 years of marriage, his wife died.
A year later, Joseph was chosen by lot to took Mary home since she could no longer reside in the temple as she had reached the age of 12. There, she encountered the young James who was heart-broken over the loss of his mother, so Mary comforted him and assumed the role of his mother. She was there two years before the Annunciation occurred, which would make her 14 years old and Joseph 92 years old when today’s reading occurred. Mary gave birth when she was 15, which made Joseph 93 years old when Jesus was born.
After the death of King Herod the Great, Joseph returned from Egypt and resumed his work as a carpenter and undertook the raising of Jesus and his own children. Joseph lived to be 111 years old and suffered no ill effects of old age. That would place Jesus at 18 years old and Mary 33 years old when Joseph died. According to Luke 3:23, Jesus was "about 30" when he began his ministry, which would make Mary around 45 years old.